Now that my wedding is weeks away, and we’ve received (most of) the RSVPs, I wanted to write a bit about the daunting task of picking your guests. Creating this list and keeping it organized is no. joke. These are the people you’re choosing to celebrate with on one of the happiest days of your life! So for real, take note of these tips I worked out while we conquered this ordeal ourselves.

Don’t invite based on a guilty conscience. You’ve heard it before and you’ll hear it again: this is a day for you and your partner. If your mom/dad wants to invite an old boss from work to keep up appearances, say no. If your best friend from high school wants to bring the guy she’s been seeing for two weeks, say no. Feelings might be hurt (emphasis on the might), but that’s not something you can focus on. This is supposed to be a day spent with your closest, your most loved, your must-have list of people.

If you’re stuck between invite and don’t invite for a particular person, don’t let a small variation make or break your headcount. Yes, every addition will cost more money. But, also yes, you can’t nickel and dime when it comes to having everyone that you want there for your big day. A couple more people won’t make or break the budget. If you’re leaning more toward invite, do it.

If you know you’ll look back and wish they were there, invite them. Again, if you’re going back and forth on an invite, seriously consider how you’ll feel about it in the future. I know that’s an impossible task, but I found it important to my decision-making process. You obviously can’t know if anything will change between you and this person in the future, but you can assume how you’ll feel if someone is or isn’t there when thinking back on the day.

And, as always, GET ORGANIZED. I know I’ve said this in most of my wedding tips, but really. This is important. Start with getting a list together of everyone you’re considering. Go over the list a few times, remove anyone you’re second guessing, and add anyone you may have forgotten. Once your final invite list is set, use WeddingWire‘s Guest List Tool to keep all the information in one place. You can either import the list or add the names manually. With the tool, you can collect addresses via email (amazing), check off when invites are sent, keep track of yes and no RSVPs, add in their seating information for the ceremony, and take note of any gifts given. Literally everything you need to stay organized.

Ok, so, yes. This is a big deal. But also try to not stress about it too much. You can’t (and shouldn’t) make everyone happy, but the people that matter the most will be there for you. Hopefully some of these tips will help with you final decisions, but you know yourself and will create a list that’s perfect for the both of you!